


Caught in the Fire

by golden_kimono



Category: Jrock, the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Barebacking, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Past Kai/Uruha, Past Relationship(s), Sequel Possible, Set during world tour, Sexual Content, Smut, Smutty Angst, Undecided Relationship(s), angsty smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:56:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_kimono/pseuds/golden_kimono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His breath hitched when Aoi came closer and he blinked to remain focused. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” he whispered.</p><p>Aoi smiled softly, his eyes gentle. “Me neither.” He moved forward once more and nudged Kai’s nose with his own before fixing him with a questioning gaze. “But it never was, so what’s stopping you now?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught in the Fire

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this based on a funny prompt: person A gets locked out of their room half naked, person B helps them out. And it turned into something completely different... I blame UNDYING.

Kai flipped through the TV channels, even though he couldn’t fully understand what was being said. He wished he had brushed up on his English skills some more before heading overseas, but there was nothing to be done about it now. Once he stumbled upon a rerun of The Walking Dead, though, he decided he might as well watch it: at least this was a show he understood, having watched it already – and he loved it. And it might be a perfect distraction: it had been a day of bad news, what with two bands – one from their own label – having announced that they were disbanding. Fans had messaged them in concern, worried they would be next, and Ruki had taken it upon himself to reassure them, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult news for everyone.

It certainly put things in perspective when it came to their world tour so far: apart from the lives themselves, they had experienced fans at their hotel and a cancellation of one of the lives due to bad weather – and being stuck as they had to wait for a new flight hadn’t helped their moods. Then, on their way to Canada, they’d gotten stuck at the airport and their flight had left without them. It had almost seemed as though this entire endeavour was cursed.

Still, at least they had their performances, which Kai genuinely enjoyed, as well as the opportunity to meet the fans face to face; it kind of made him wish they did this more often and reminded him why they were in the music business. Today’s news, however, had reminded him of how finite everything was, and how one day they’d perform their last live, look the fans in the face for the very last time, and how important it was that they enjoy themselves to the fullest, no matter what silly problems they may encounter. It was worse knowing that these bands weren’t much younger than them, which placed them in roughly the same era; it hit uncomfortably close to home.

Determined not to think about it too much for now, Kai grabbed a bag of sweets from the bedside table to keep him going as he watched tragedy unfold on the screen before him. He was getting so into it that he didn’t hear the knock on his door at first. It wasn’t until there was another knock, a particularly loud one, that he jumped up, just able to grab the sweets before they fell to the floor. Still chewing the last one he’d taken, he slowly moved from the bed and towards the door, wondering how rude it’d be to ignore whoever it was as he wasn’t at all in the mood to socialise right now.

Then again, it might be a staff member asking for help with something important, or perhaps problems had occurred with their equipment, or the live house had disappeared (hey, by this point, Kai was willing to expect anything). 

Once he opened the door, though, he wasn’t sure if the truth was any better.

At first he couldn’t see anyone anyone, and as he considered that perhaps someone had mixed up his room with someone else’s and left, he suddenly spotted a certain guitarist hiding behind the potted plant to his left.

“What the- Aoi?!” Kai blinked and shook his head, sure that what he was seeing must be a hallucination, because if not then they had a naked Aoi on the loose in the hallways. “What’s up?” he asked warily before being pushed aside by his band mate, who was eager to get inside – and who was luckily wearing underwear.

“What’s up?!” Aoi hissed once the door had closed behind them. He placed his hands on his hips and glared at Kai as though he was somehow to blame for his predicament. “I got locked out, that’s what’s up! Thanks for answering so promptly, by the way, that wasn’t awkward at all!”

“Did anyone see you?” Kai’s heart skipped a beat at the possibility. Imagine pictures of _that_ showing up all over Instagram and Twitter.

Aoi shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. “Well… I don’t think so. But someone could have!” Nodding in agreement, Kai apologised softly as he shuffled over to his bed and perched himself on the edge, eyes travelling over his friend’s mostly bare form. The ends of Aoi’s hair seemed damp, goosebumps had appeared on his body (Kai liked to keep his room cooler than most) and his nipples had hardened, the sight stirring something within Kai that was better left unsaid. He leaned back on the bed and raised an eyebrow. “And you decided to step out in just your underwear because…”

Aoi sighed and seated himself beside Kai, his shoulders sagging. “I got out of the shower and wanted to get a drink from the vending machine – you know, the one outside my room? I figured I’d be back in a second.”

“Sure, sure…” Aoi’s habit of wandering around mostly nude after washing wasn’t exactly unknown to the band. “Still, it might be a good idea to actually get dressed after a shower from now on,” Kai pointed out carefully. “Or to at least put on a robe so you don’t give anyone the shock of their lives.”

Groaning in annoyance, Aoi covered his face with his hands. “Seriously, I can’t get into my room and you want to lecture me on my clothing habits? You sleep naked!”  
“Yeah, but I put on clothes when I’m around people,” Kai replied with a grin. He cleared his throat when Aoi lifted his head, his glare intensified. “Okay, here’s what we’ll do: I’ll go get the manager…” He got up and reached for the fluffy bathrobe on the back of the door. “And you wear this! You seem cold.”

He tossed the robe to a pouting Aoi, who wrapped himself up gingerly, looking almost cute as he did so.

“Just… Try not to move, okay?” Kai warned as he opened the door, already foreseeing disaster. “I’ll be back with another key soon.”  
Of course he wasn’t quite that lucky: as it turned out, the only person at reception was a trainee, who was unsure of what to do and asked him if he could possibly come back later, when a manager was present. Not a big deal, since Aoi could simply wait in is room, but he wasn’t sure how the other would react to this news. Plus, he had actually rather enjoyed his time alone and now he’d be stuck with a very grumpy guitarist.

As he stood in the lift, he wondered what the other three were up to right now. Uruha was probably fine, wherever he was; not much seemed to ruffle the lead guitarist. Ruki was most likely either sleeping off his jetlag or working. And Reita… Seeing how he didn’t like to go out on his own and Ruki might not want to be bothered, chances were that he was with Uruha or simply relaxing in his room. Lucky bastards.

Bracing himself, Kai inserted the key and turned the door knob, only for his heart to skip a beat when Aoi was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t left, had he? Stepped outside for a smoke? Because, honestly, he wouldn’t put it past him, clothes or no clothes.

“Aoi!” he called out, ready to step back out and find him before Ruki could notice anything had gone wrong. He froze when he heard the toilet flush. Ah. Right. He had a bathroom.

“What?” Aoi sounded vaguely annoyed when he reappeared, though thankfully less so than before. Also thankfully, he was still wearing the robe. Kai had half expected him to strip down and turn the thermostat up, which would not have been good for his nerves.

“Ah, sorry… I thought you’d left.” Kai grinned sheepishly and scratched his head when Aoi merely stared at him as if to say ‘where the fuck would I go?’. “No key, unfortunately: the person at reception was new and didn’t really know how it worked. We should come back when the manager’s there.”

Aoi nodded and threw himself down on Kai’s bed, the robe shifting to reveal one pale leg. “Guess I’ll stay here then. You don’t mind, do you?”

Shaking his head wordlessly, Kai thought to himself that he couldn’t even speak up if he did, as there was really nowhere else for Aoi to go. “We could watch some TV while we wait,” he suggested, already reaching for the remote.

“As long as we don’t watch one of your things,” Aoi replied, nodding over at the TV set, where another episode of Kai’s earlier show was playing. “I saw some of it while you were away and won’t sit through any more of that shit.”

Kai bristled indignantly and opened his mouth to explain to Aoi precisely why he was wrong and why this series was anything but shit, but the guitarist waved him away before he could speak.

“I don’t like horror, remember?”

Oh. Yes, Kai remembered. He would’ve replied with: “How could I forget?” But the truth was, that, for a brief moment, he _had_ forgotten. It was odd to think that he used to know near enough everything about the other, something that was long behind them now. And even though Aoi made it no secret that he didn’t appreciate scary things, Kai had stopped thinking of him every step of the way and hadn’t even considered it here. Memories of a younger Aoi clinging to Kai’s sweater in the dark resurfaced, but he repressed them quickly.

“Fine, we’ll switch to something else,” Kai promised, getting on the bed as well and seating himself against the headboard. “What are you in the mood for?”

Aoi shrugged and plucked at the duvet, eyes fixed on the TV screen. “Music, I guess.”

Nodding, Kai obediently searched for a music channel, eventually stopping on a countdown from the eighties. Their era, although apart from the truly big names, Kai didn’t recognise many of the musicians. As he watched the music videos, his thoughts returned to before and he wondered if this would be them one day: featured on a countdown of artists who were and who had been, with few still remaining in action. Their pride and joy, their hard work, up for others to criticise and laugh at, without them being able to explain what they had meant by it all and no one caring enough to ask, their meaning long lost over time.

He knew they elicited this reaction from a great many people already, but they still had time to grow and, most importantly, they had their fans, who listened to them beyond their music. How many of those would there still be in twenty, thirty years? How many of their fans would still think of them, play their music? And how many would have sold their albums ages ago, lost them as they moved from one home to the other, given them to a charity shop along with old tour shirts they had once bought after queuing up for hours or trying to work a website that kept on crashing? How many would furrow their eyebrows upon hearing their name, a brief moment of confusion before remembering that they were that band they once loved?

And in fifty years, what then? All that excitement, the friendships formed during or after their lives, the people who met and met up because of them, the energy, the feeling of being together, of striving towards that goal Ruki liked to describe as the nameless liberty – it would all be gone. And all that would be left of them would be music videos the newer generations wouldn’t understand, music they’d scoff at and dismiss.

Of course it didn’t have to be that way at all, but right here, right now, especially with Aoi beside him, the melancholy train of thought refused to leave his head. Perhaps it was because they had once been something more than they were now, because they had once laughed together over inside jokes the others rolled their eyes at, because they had once moaned each other’s names into the night, when now they were reduced to staying at a distance and pretending like this was all they ever had been.

“How’s Uruha?”

Kai blinked and glanced over at Aoi, who was watching the TV as though his life depended on it. Judging by his tone, Kai wasn’t the only one affected by their current situation. They usually avoided being alone for too long – unless it was necessary for band-related things, of course. They were professionals; they could handle that much. But this? It had been fine at first, but Aoi was too close for too long and once Kai had started thinking of the past, he had been unable to get comfortable.

“He’s okay, I think,” he replied softly. “He seems the least bothered out of all of us, so there’s that.”

Aoi smiled briefly. It seemed almost genuine. “The laidback guitarist.”

“Nothing seems to get to him,” Kai agreed.

An awkward silence followed in which they both stared at a black-and-white music video which looked so bland that Kai could barely fake interest.

“We’re not-” Kai paused and weighed his words, wondering how to continue. He knew Aoi had intended to ask, but now that he was going to answer, he wasn’t sure how. “He and I, we’re… It’s not a thing. Not anymore.”

A short pause followed. “That’s really none of my business,” Aoi replied coolly.

Kai fell quiet once more, unsure where to go from here. He knew Aoi had been hurt when Kai had drifted into Uruha’s arms, even though things had been over by then and he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He also knew that, although it indeed was none of Aoi’s business, he nonetheless _wanted_ to know.

Things had been good with Uruha. Less intense, but good. Safe. Uncomplicated, except when he began to explain his complicated thoughts. He was like ice: cold when he turned angry – which was a rare event – and with so much hidden beneath the surface, although you needed to wait for it to break off or melt away. Aoi was more like fire: all over the place, moving fast, too hot to touch or get close to, destructive, but oh so beautiful and fascinating, and always the centre of attention. That was why they hadn’t worked out in the end: it was simply too much. Too difficult. Too wrong.

He missed it.

Saying so would be cruel and inappropriate, so Kai chose not to. Instead, he slid down on the bed, positioned himself more comfortably and pretended to watch the television, although by now he had lost all sense of what it was showing. Thoughts of the future and the past had blended together and were calling for attention, not heeding his pleas to leave him be.

Aoi stirred beside him. “How long?”

“A while?” Kai shrugged the best he could. “It faded away rather than having a clear end.” They had gone from being together to being friends and having sex together to being friends, and Kai hadn’t really kept track of when the last transition had taken place. It didn’t seem important, and Uruha appeared to feel the same way. It had happened, yet it hadn’t changed things and they had easily returned to the friendship they’d had before, different from him and Aoi.

“Would be nice to have that,” Aoi mused.

Kai’s stomach clenched at the other’s words and he shook his head. “I don’t think you could ever fade anywhere.”

He turned his head when he heard Aoi turn onto his side and locked eyes with him. His heart pounded in his chest. Aoi always had a hypnotising effect on people, and Kai was no more resistant to this power than anyone else. Perhaps even less so, knowing the other the way he did – or used to.

His breath hitched when Aoi came closer and he blinked to remain focused. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” he whispered.

Aoi smiled softly, his eyes gentle. “Me neither.” He moved forward once more and nudged Kai’s nose with his own before fixing him with a questioning gaze. “But it never was, so what’s stopping you now?”

Unsure whether this was meant as a jibe or not, Kai nevertheless gave in and allowed their lips to press together for the first time in what felt like forever. They kissed slowly, even though Kai was fairly certain they should have talked first or shouldn’t even be doing this at all. Then again, as Aoi had reminded him: this hadn’t stopped them in the past.

Aoi’s hand came up to cup his cheek and Kai responded in kind by placing his hand on Aoi’s waist and gripping his robe. He moaned softly and tugged Aoi closer before pulling back and breathing against the other’s lips shakily. Aoi had always been perfect at making him lose himself and now was no different, even with the little voice at the back of his head telling him he should stop.

“Don’t stop,” Aoi whispered, taking Kai’s hand in his and sliding it under his robe and up his bare leg.

“We should…” Kai swallowed hard, his brain refusing to function due to the feel of soft skin under his fingers. He mapped it out in memory as his touch moved upwards, only to stop on the curve of Aoi’s hip. This was a mistake, or would be, and they’d regret it later, and it would make everything so much more awkward – on top of that, it came out of absolutely nowhere. Yet, Kai couldn’t bring himself to bring it up. Aoi had initiated this, clearly wanted this, and he wasn’t drunk or otherwise incapable of making his own decisions. And Kai… He thought back to earlier. Everything was finite, right? So why not enjoy this while they could, as long as they both wanted it?

He was pulled from his thoughts when Aoi nipped at his jaw and clawed at his belt, the guitarist now seemingly fed up with being patient. Throwing all reason out the window, Kai gripped Aoi’s behind and rubbed against him, tilting his head back to allow the other better access to his neck.

It wasn’t long until Aoi had managed to undo Kai’s belt and pants and had shoved his hand inside to stroke his cock, while at the same time sucking on his neck. In the back of his mind, Kai registered that this exact spot used to be Aoi’s favourite; whether the guitarist remembered this or not, he didn’t know, but his mouth certainly did. Kai gasped as Aoi massaged him between his legs and retaliated by running a finger down the crack of the other’s ass.

Once his finger stroked over Aoi’s entrance, the guitarist jerked and moaned, and pushed Kai onto his back and crawled on top of him. Kai allowed himself to be held down as Aoi slowly rocked back and forth on his hardening cock, his lips brushing over Kai’s collarbone. When Kai bucked his hips upwards, Aoi stretched back up to smirk down at him and shake back his hair.

“Come on, Kai…” Licking his lips, Aoi allowed his robe to slide down his shoulders, exposing his tattoos, until it came to rest around his waist. Kai had never been too fond of tattoos, but he had to admit that when he had first seen Aoi’s, he had been more than intrigued. Strange how attraction could find a reason for arousal in anyting.

Kai reached up and stroked over Aoi’s tattoos, the other’s muscles flexing in response. “You’re so gorgeous,” he sighed. Aoi’s raw sensuality had never been lost on him, not even when he was with Uruha – in fact, the lead guitarist seemed to feel the same way.

The corner of Aoi’s mouth curled up smugly. Aoi was both a ball of insecurity and a confident man who knew he was good-looking, and the paradox had always drawn people in. “Show me,” he said daringly as he shrugged the robe off completely. His eyes sparkled happily when Kai’s hands dropped to his thighs.

Taking a deep breath, Kai grasped Aoi by the waist and turned him over onto his back, hearing a noise of surprise as he did so. He slid Aoi’s underwear down his legs as Aoi tugged up his shirt. There was momentary confusion as they undressed each other, a tangle of limbs when an actually naked Aoi this time pulled Kai’s pants off and left them both nude. Everything was moving too fast for Kai to pause and think about what he was doing, but sometimes that was for the best.

Aoi moaned and wrapped his arms around Kai’s back. He arched up against him and threw one of his legs over Kai’s, pulling his head down and kissing him fiercely. “Fuck me,” he gasped against the drummer’s mouth. “Now!”

“I have no lube,” Kai groaned back, resting his head on Aoi’s chest in frustration as he realised this crucial lack. “And no condoms.”

Aoi huffed and smacked Kai’s back. “You weren’t expecting much of this tour, were you?” He sounded both amused and annoyed. “Lotion, use lotion. Fuck condoms, I’m clean.” He hesitated and looked into Kai’s eyes searchingly. “Unless…”

“I always use them,” Kai hurried to say, knowing exactly what Aoi meant – or who he meant. “We’re good… If you’re sure?”

At Aoi’s reassuring nod and smile, a smile that didn’t really fit the current situation, Kai moved away for a moment to grab his hand lotion. He squirted some into his hand and teased along the guitarist’s entrance, pushing the tip of his finger in and out until Aoi dug his short nails into his sides in warning.

Grinning to himself, Kai finally pressed his entire finger inside, soon followed by another. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“I have had sex since we broke up,” Aoi said dryly. “I think I can handle your fingers.” He licked his lips slowly, his eyes dark as he looked between Kai’s legs. “Now _that_ is a different story.”

Kai flushed red and shoved his fingers back in harder than he intended, causing Aoi to groan loudly. Once he deemed Aoi ready enough, he wiped his fingers on the duvet before smearing the lotion over his length. He looked up at Aoi through his hair and smiled bashfully when he caught him watching intently.

“Stop it,” he mumbled as he rubbed the excess around Aoi’s hole. It was becoming too much already, but Aoi didn’t seem to care. He simply gazed into his face, quietly, his arms beside his head and his legs spread apart. The submissive, trusting position caused Kai’s heart to speed up and his cock to twitch.

When the tip of his arousal was finally inside, with only a small wince from Aoi, Kai hung his head and breathed heavily, tingling all over. It had been so long and it felt both new and familiar. His mind went blank when he was fully encased by Aoi’s inner walls, which clenched around him immediately to adjust. Memories of their first time together rushed through Kai’s head, but were pushed aside when Aoi whispered his name.

Sex with Aoi was never quite what you’d expect, evidenced once again by how calm Aoi was now that they were connected this way, a stark contrast to how wild and aggressive he had been before. He had asked Kai to fuck him, but was now urging him to slow down in between sweet kisses across his neck and face and anywhere else he could reach.

Aoi pulled Kai’s head down and pressed his lips to the drummer’s ear. “Lie down,” he gasped out, rolling his hips upwards.

Kai felt a rush of arousal and nodded, turning onto his back eagerly and allowing Aoi to mount him. The guitarist sat up on his knees and held Kai’s length in his hand, taking it in carefully. His head was thrown back as he rode Kai slowly, his body twisting sensually.

It was as though they had gone from impulsive to wanting to savour the moment. No, Kai corrected himself: that was _exactly_ what had happened. He gazed up at the beautiful man above him, his hands on Aoi’s hips yet not guiding him in any way, and wondered not for the first time why he had been so scared. Yes, Aoi was intense and often unpredictable, but Kai had been too cowardly to figure out how to handle him. Or to simply accept him.

His orgasm came almost as a surprise, since he wasn’t so much focused on coming as he was on living in the moment. He gasped and tensed up, his hands gripping Aoi’s waist tightly as he climaxed inside the guitarist, the realisation that he was coming without any barrier between them making an extra wave of pleasure wash over him.

When he came down from his high, it was with Aoi still on top of him, jerking himself off as he whimpered softly. Kai reached out lazily and helped him along, his fingers tangling with Aoi’s and stroking swiftly until his mouth fell open to release the loudest moan yet. His cock spasmed and painted their hands white when he reached orgasm.

It was later, when they were cleaned up and huddled together under a new duvet, that Kai dared to speak up.

“Hey…” He pressed his hand against Aoi’s belly and rubbed his cheek against the other’s shoulder. “Why…?”

“Don’t question it.” Blunt and to the point; that was Aoi for sure.

Kai _did_ want to question it, though. He was sure it had something to do with today’s news: apart from the fact that Aoi was rather close to Kazuki, Aoi knew what it was like to want to leave a band, and this had undoubtedly brought back some things he hadn’t wanted to think of for a long time. Not that this explained it all, but… It must be part of it. Perhaps. If Aoi didn’t want to talk about it, though, he wouldn’t.

“Do you think it will happen again?”

He had asked it so quietly he wasn’t sure Aoi had heard him, and when there were a few moments of silence, he was convinced he hadn’t. Then Aoi squeezed his arm and spoke up in little more than a whisper.

“We’ll see.”

**Author's Note:**

> The bit where Kai gets all melancholy while they're watching music videos: I wrote that several days ago. Turned into almost a premonition, what with SCREW and girugamesh. :( I loved SCREW and respect girugamesh, so no disrespect is meant by any of the references.


End file.
